: Use the time apart to reclaim your self-esteem and address your own "chunk" of the relationship's previous failures. Phase 2: Reconnection
: Give both parties space (often 30 days or more) to process emotions without the pressure of constant communication. Back Together
For more structured exercises, resources like the book Getting Back Together by Bettie B. Youngs offer specific communication workshops for couples. Getting Back Together: How To Reconcile With Your Partner : Use the time apart to reclaim your
Before reaching out, you must determine if reconciliation is actually healthy. Youngs offer specific communication workshops for couples
: Use tools like the 7-7-7 Rule —a date every 7 days, a getaway every 7 weeks, and a vacation every 7 months—to keep the bond intentional.
Once you are in a stable emotional state, you can begin testing the waters.
Getting back together with an ex requires a shift in mindset: rather than trying to fix a "broken" relationship, you should treat it as a brand-new partnership with the person you used to know. Phase 1: Self-Reflection & Space