With a wet, mechanical thud, the device made contact. Cartman’s eyes bulged. He let out a sound that wasn't quite a scream and wasn't quite a sneeze. Then, as quickly as it began, the light vanished, the ship vanished into a warp-drive blur, and Cartman plummeted into the snowbank with a heavy, muffled "oof."
"Dude," Kyle whispered, pointing. "You have a giant satellite dish coming out of your butt." Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
"Whatever, Cartman," Kyle sighed. "Let's just go to school." If you'd like to see more of South Park, I can: With a wet, mechanical thud, the device made contact
As the school bus pulled up, a fleet of hundreds of identical saucers appeared in the sky, responding to the beacon. The town of South Park began to panic. Cows were being beamed up by the dozens, and Chef was running out of the school screaming about the "visitors." Then, as quickly as it began, the light
Just as the lead ship hovered over them, Cartman let out a massive, involuntary fart. The sheer force of the gas, combined with the alien technology, created a localized EMP. The satellite dish pulsed one final, blinding gold light, sending a message of pure, concentrated "Screw you guys, I'm going home" into the alien mainframe.
The ships shuddered. The aliens, apparently offended by the primitive and gaseous nature of the broadcast, turned their fleet around and vanished into the stratosphere.
"Man, I had the weirdest dream about a giant taco that crapped ice cream," he muttered, completely unaware that he had just saved the world from an interstellar invasion.