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"This isn't just a room, Artie," Gary whispered, leaning in so close Arthur could smell his peppermint gum. "It’s an heirloom. Your kids will thank you. Your grandkids will thank you. And for today only, we’re waiving the $5,000 ‘Founders Fee.’ You’re basically stealing from us!"

Arthur tried to go back to the Golden Palms that summer. He found his "Luxury Suite" was actually a studio overlooking a dumpster, and the "private beach" was a narrow strip of sand behind a highway.

"Oh, the purchase was cheap, Mr. Miller," the voice replied cheerfully. "But the property taxes, the roofing fund, the pool-cleaning surcharge, and the 'Atmosphere Enhancement Fee' are mandatory. It’s all in Section 14, Paragraph C. The part written in light grey ink." cheap timeshare

"Wait," Arthur told the customer service rep on the phone. "The flyer said cheap."

The triumph lasted exactly six months, until the first "Maintenance Assessment" arrived in the mail. It was $1,200. "This isn't just a room, Artie," Gary whispered,

Arthur, blinded by the prospect of a $99-a-year getaway, signed the stack of papers. He left with a plastic keychain and a sense of triumph.

The resort was named "The Golden Palms," but it looked more like "The Rusty Shingles" as Arthur pulled his rental car into the gravel lot. Your grandkids will thank you

He was met at the door by Gary, a man whose teeth were whiter than the fluorescent lights of the lobby. "Arthur! Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!" Gary chirped, steering him toward a cramped office that smelled faintly of old coffee and desperation.