Unepic(gamingbeasts.com) -

"You know," Arthur said, sighing as he opened the GamingBeasts forums to see a meme of his character walking into a wall already trending. "They say every beast has a weakness. I just didn't think mine would be a Dorito."

Arthur sat in the silence of his room, the smell of spicy nacho cheese hanging heavy in the air. He looked at his sticky keyboard and then at Dave, who was currently trying to scrape cheese off the carpet with a ruler.

In slow motion, the nachos took flight. A glob of molten, synthetic orange cheese landed directly in the center of Arthur’s mechanical keyboard. The 'W' key—the key required to move forward—stuck instantly. UnEpic(GamingBeasts.com)

"Tonight," Arthur whispered to his cat, "we become legends."

The match started. It was a 5v5 tactical shooter. Fenris moved with lethal precision, flanking enemies and racking up headshots. The commentary on the live stream was electric: "Fenris is playing like a literal beast! GamingBeasts.com has never seen anything like this!" But then, the happened. "You know," Arthur said, sighing as he opened

Arthur logged into the GamingBeasts tournament portal. The prize was five thousand dollars—enough to fix his car and maybe buy a chair that didn't squeak every time he breathed.

He didn't get the five thousand dollars, but he did get a sponsorship offer the next day from a cleaning supply company. Their pitch? "For when your gaming gets UnEpic." Arthur took the deal. At least now he had clean socks. He looked at his sticky keyboard and then

Arthur watched in horror as the enemy team approached his stuttering character. They didn't even use high-powered weapons; they took turns hitting him with frying pans, the ultimate humiliation in the game's mechanics. He lost the match. He lost the prize. He lost his dignity.